Then vs. Now

While shoveling this evening, I began thinking about how differently I think now as opposed to when I was still living in Kenosha.

Then: When I would shovel snow, I used to make a game out of it.
Now: When I shovel snow, I think about how the powers at be are making a game out of me.

Then: I would've thought that poking on Facebook was stupid and pointless.
Now: I think about how awesome Facebook is for allowing me to *poke* my sister, mother, and grandmother, all in one night, from a state away.

Then: I would've contemplated for so long what I was going to say to that cute girl over there that I never would've ended up going to talk to her.
Now: I walk up, without thinking, and just start talking and pass off whatever stupid thing I say as "charming".

Then: I would dream about being productive all the time.
Now: I dream about being productive all the time...except while having sex. Anything *produced* from sex cannot be good.

Then: You're a theater major at DePaul? Cool.
Now: You're a theater major at DePaul? Have you gotten cut yet? Have you auditioned for any productions outside of your school? What did they tell you was the percentage of applicants they accept?

My Parents Are Awesome...

"If you want to really hurt your parents, and you don't have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I'm not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something."
  - Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country




...because my parents are okay with both.

Why Jazz Works (Part I)

As I was running late for a gig the other day, I texted the leader of the group, "Yo, man...I'll be there a little after 9:30. I like to call it 'laying back on the time'. Haha!"

In jazz, when you lay a phrase back on the time and then put the following one right in time, it's hip. Dangerous...but hip. In real life, when you show up late and then jump right in with no problem, people admire you. You can also get fired this way.

After waking up early the other morning, I thought, "If we all, collectively as a human race, hate getting up early, why do almost all of us do it? What if, one day, we all just decided to sleep in?"

In real life, if we all just decided to sleep in, many different societal constructs would fail. In jazz, if we all just decided to not play in time, the whole song would fall apart. (And if you think late Coltrane has no time feel, you're wrong.)

Tonight's Gunna Be A Good Night

This picture is for the Canadian-American, Andy Rautins, who got me my ticket to see Syracuse's #4 ranked mens' basketball team beat DePaul in Chicago at the Allstate Arena.

This picture is from when Tim and I went to Target after the Syracuse game. I couldn't resist the opportunity.

Another shot from Target. This picture is more awesome if you know what is in that container that has my name on it followed by the word "PLUS".

Optimism

As I was walking down the street today, I saw a sign for a demolition company. Their slogan: "We Make Space."

Wow, I thought. They took something as grim and depressing as destroying a building (and along with it the physical representations of peoples' memories) and made it into something positive and optimistic. They are creating... space.

I took this into my own life and realized something really great about my little (big) screw up last semester. Sure, I failed four classes. But I didn't lose anything, and I've gained so much more from it.

I didn't lose my scholarship, and I won't lose out on my grades because of Columbia's academic forgiveness policy. I've been afforded an extra semester to figure my life out, and I have the greatest excuse of all-time, now.

Sorry, I can't do that gig: I'm on academic probation.

Nope...can't hang out with you again: I'm on academic probation.

My bad...I can't stop and save that person who has stopped breathing: I'm on academic probation.

Another Assignment, Another Shot

I just finished and printed out my first homework assignment of the semester.

One down. Countless more to go.

It was a one page paper on myself...my major (never overtly said it, but I think my teacher will get the idea), year in school (SUPER senior), life plans (HAHA...that's a good one), hobbies and interests (all of which not surprisingly matched my major), and any experience that would relate to this class (Um...failing it once already?).

I've been given a second chance at this whole school thing. I keep trying to convince myself that it's going to be different this time. I keep trying to convince myself that I won't get lazy as the semester wears on, because, let's be honest, I really can't afford that at this point.

Wish me luck, as I wish all of you who are attempting something for a second time.

Electronic Tattoo

This is a little something that I found whilst perusing the Book of Face, courtesy of Mathew Roberts.

Something Amiss...

As I listened to Eminem degrade society on my iPod, I read Barack Obama's article in Newsweek on why Haiti is important. I did this while waiting for my roommate to come from our nice Lincoln Park apartment to meet up with me and have lunch at Panera Bread where my food would be given to me literally minutes after I order it.

The other day, a friend of mine and I were on a website that allows you to randomly video chat with other people on the site and "next" them when you don't want to talk to them anymore. At first, this is a hilarious thing, as you're "next"ed by half-naked men who are angry that you're not a pretty girl. (For the record, of the 50 or so people we saw that night, only 2 were women.) It stopped being fun when one of the people we were randomly paired with in a video chat was hanging from his ceiling by a noose with a kicked over chair underneath him.

There's something wrong with this world...something amiss...