Taking A Step Back

Taking a step back without tripping can be a very difficult thing to do. It's so easy to get caught up in all of the things that you're supposed to be feeling. I'll be the first person to admit that I often get so caught up in trying to achieve a particular goal or feeling that I lose sight of what I'm doing in context of the bigger picture.

It's every musician's dream to practice alone, rehearse with many different groups, perform in many styles of music, and record every opportunity that they get. Being a musician, this is also my dream, and I've spent the last three years at school trying to put myself in a better position to attain this dream. This summer, I've spent so much time thinking about this dream that I didn't even realize that I was living it.

In the last month of my life, I've performed in styles ranging from jazz to blues to ska in many different settings from hotels to clubs to outdoor festivals. I've met and had conversations with so many different types of people from people who've never touched an instrument to those who've only just played in high school groups to those who are far greater musicians than I. I've also been able to get into the practice room a fair amount this summer: it's nice to sit down and s l o w down what it is that you're doing and be able to think about it in a very academic manner.

Last night at the recording session, as I started to get down on myself about some out of tune notes that I had played on a particular take, I took a step back. I'm living the dream. There I was in a really nice recording studio with a bunch of musicians that I love playing with making music that we all love to make. Who the f*** cares if I played a few slightly out of tune notes? When I think of all of the things that could've gone wrong (illness, injury, equipment malfunction, etc.), it's a f***ing miracle that I even made it to the studio and was able to do what I did.

This is a reminder (to myself mostly) that I need to constantly take a step back from what I'm doing and realize that, in so many ways, I'm living the dream. Is it a perfect dream? No, and I still have much practicing to do in order to improve my musicianship and, in turn, improve what's happening around me. Is it a start that not many people experience until many years after they graduate? Yes, and I'm going to run with it as far as I can and do my best to make it last forever.